Month: November 2024

So, here’s the thing about having a teenager. Or, in my case, a teenager and a pre-teen. Jenny’s 15 now, and I’m starting to think that “keeping my cool” is going to be a lifelong challenge. Every day, I’m like, “I got this!” and then five minutes later, I’m regretting my life choices after a meltdown over something as simple as homework. Can we just get real for a sec? The teen years are no joke.

Jenny’s gone from being the sweet little girl who would tell me everything—like, the details of every dream she had that night—to someone who gives me the “I don’t know” shrug when I ask about her day. Lincoln and Molly, though, they’re just holding out for their turn. It’s coming. I know it. And let’s just say I’ve got my “I’m not going to lose my mind” toolkit ready. But… spoiler alert, it’s not going that well.

Here’s the deal: I’ve tried a few things to stay Zen. I really have. First, I’ve attempted to stay calm when Jenny gives me the look—the one that says she’s so done with me. Instead of launching into a lecture, I take a deep breath and remind myself that I was a teenager once, too. (Okay, maybe not as dramatic, but still!) This usually lasts about two minutes before my inner voice starts yelling, “Why did you just say that?!” But hey, progress, right?

Second, I’ve been really into mindfulness lately. A solid three minutes of it, anyway. The idea is that if I can calm my own nerves, maybe it will rub off on Jenny when she’s arguing with me over something. But, spoiler again: not so much. The only thing I’ve really “calmed” is my coffee intake. Baby steps.

Third, I’ve been trying to keep things cool (literally) by getting outside more. Fresh air. Sunshine. Sometimes the kids come with me, sometimes not. But taking a walk in the neighborhood with no yelling about chores or curfews? It’s magical. I’m convinced that the more I get outside, the less I feel like I’m about to explode over absolutely nothing.

Fourth? I’ve started practicing the “ignore the drama” method. Seriously, when Jenny storms off or Lincoln’s testing my patience with a ridiculous question, I’ve been learning to just—not—respond right away. I know. It sounds counterintuitive, but I promise it works. By the time I get a second to think, the moment has passed. (Mostly.)

Lastly, I’m really leaning into giving them space. No, it’s not easy. There are days I just want to talk to my teenager like we’re best friends, but it’s all about timing. I’ve learned the hard way that bombarding her with questions when she’s just walked in the door is not the winning strategy. Letting her come to me is the goal—though, again, it takes patience. (Patience I am working on… with varying success.)

So, yeah. Keeping my cool? A work in progress. But one thing I know for sure: If I don’t laugh through some of the ridiculousness, I’ll lose my mind. And then Jenny will probably get the satisfaction of saying, “See? Told you so.”

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As a mom of three, I’ll be honest—finding time for myself can feel like an Olympic sport. Jenny’s got homework that needs help every time I sit down, Lincoln’s trying to show me the 27th YouTube video about his latest obsession (which, by the way, is always something different), and Molly… well, Molly’s got a way of needing things at the exact moment I think I’ve got a second to breathe. It’s like they can sense when I’m about to hit “pause” and decide that’s when the world needs them most.

So, where does that leave me? Somewhere between the couch cushions, probably, wondering how much I could get done in 10 minutes of silence (spoiler: not much, because someone will come asking for a snack, or the dog needs to go out, or… you get the idea).

I’ve tried all the tricks—locking myself in the bathroom with a book (but who am I kidding, I can hear them knocking), sneaking out early for a walk (but then it turns into “hey, I thought you were going for a walk?!”), and pretending to be super busy just to carve out a moment. But let’s be real, as moms, we’re always busy. You never really escape the fact that you’re juggling a million things at once.

But here’s the thing I’ve learned over time: even if it’s just five minutes, that tiny window of peace can make a huge difference. I’m not talking about a whole spa day (though, let’s be honest, that would be amazing). I’m talking about a hot cup of coffee before the kids wake up. I’m talking about sitting outside for two minutes in the sun with no one asking for anything. I’m talking about sitting in the car for an extra minute after grocery shopping, just to breathe and enjoy the quiet.

It doesn’t have to be perfect. Honestly, it probably won’t be. But carving out these little moments here and there helps me feel a little more like myself—like the mom who’s not just running errands, but also remembering that she has a life outside of wiping noses and packing lunches. It’s a small victory, but it’s mine.

I know it’s tough. Moms, you get it. But if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that you can’t pour from an empty cup. So, as much as it might feel impossible, finding those little moments to recharge is the secret to surviving the madness and staying sane (or at least pretending you are). Keep sneaking those moments, and don’t feel guilty for wanting a little time for yourself. Trust me, you’ve earned it!

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Ah, family road trips—where the promise of adventure is often overshadowed by the reality of endless “Are we there yet?” and the strange smell that seems to take over the car after three hours. As a mom of three, I can tell you, no matter how much you plan, road trips with kids can be a wild ride. Jenny, Lincoln, and Molly have their own unique ways of making sure there’s never a dull moment, but somehow we survive… usually.

The key is to embrace the chaos. Seriously. Don’t fight it. You’re going to need snacks. A LOT of snacks. I’ve got a whole bag of treats that I pull out like some kind of snack wizard when the “I’m starving!” complaints start. The trick is to have enough variety to keep everyone happy (or at least distracted for 10 minutes). I’ve learned that granola bars, fruit snacks, and those weird little cheese crackers are worth their weight in gold.

And let’s talk entertainment. If I ever find a DVD player that works for longer than 30 minutes, it’s basically a miracle. We’ve got every screen in the car going at once—tablets, phones, the big car screen, you name it. Of course, they all end up fighting over who gets what, so I just pray for peace and quiet for at least an hour. Sometimes, though, it’s just about surviving the soundtrack of random kids’ songs played on repeat for the hundredth time.

Then there’s the bathroom breaks. Are they even real if you don’t stop at least four times, right? I think we’ve all been there. That magical moment when everyone’s “fine” and then 10 minutes later, someone’s going to burst into tears because they “didn’t need to go before.” Ugh. I can’t win. Also, can we talk about how the gas stations in the middle of nowhere always smell… off? That’s just part of the adventure, I guess.

I’ve also learned that road trips are the perfect time to have those deep philosophical conversations with my kids. You know, the ones that start out with “Mom, why do people drive?” and end with “I don’t know, Lincoln, but we’re going to keep doing it until we get to grandma’s house, okay?” Sometimes, it’s actually kind of nice to be stuck in the car with the kids for hours, even if it feels like I’m about to lose it at any moment.

But then, you hit that point in the trip—finally—when they fall asleep. You know it’s coming. It’s like this beautiful moment of silence where you can almost hear your own thoughts again. Of course, then you have to resist the urge to crank up the music and sing as loud as you want. But hey, we’ve earned it, right?

So, yes, family road trips can be chaotic, and yes, they can test your patience. But they’re also full of moments that you’ll laugh about later. In the end, it’s all part of the adventure—one car snack, one “are we there yet?” at a time.

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